Anger Triggers and Past Events Can Be Used in A Good Way

 As you explore each of the anger triggers, you can trace back to a past event, as we did in the two examples above. So your behavior suggests that you've held on to resentment and anger from a past event, Brian Bonar says. This resentment and anger have never been resolved, which is why you continue to feel angry in situations resembling past events. Events that are long over.

Which brings us to the next step, which is as follows.

Free Yourself from Anger

Use this exercise to find out why a particular situation makes you angry. For each trigger, ask yourself “Why does this make me angry?”

Write the answer on a sheet and repeat the question until you reach the famous moment of realization (when you have found the cause of your anger). This discovered cause is the source of your anger.

For example, let's imagine that after doing step #2, you realize that your anger triggers are: ( a ) talking to rude people and ( b ) seeing older people being abused. Let's dig them each separately.

Example 1: Talking to rude people

“Why does dealing with rude people make me angry?”

⇒ Because they are hateful.

"Why does this make me angry?"

⇒ Because they are disrespectful.

"Why does this make me angry?"

⇒ Because I feel devalued, despised.

"Why does this make me angry?"

⇒ Because it reminds me of my childhood, when the kids at school didn't respect me. They paid no attention to me, and even laughed at me for no reason. I felt completely stupid and useless at that time.

Here you notice that what makes you angry with rude people is related to your childhood, when you were treated roughly by your classmates. In this case, it is the underlying trigger for your anger.

Example 2: Seeing old people being abused

“Why seeing old people being mistreated makes me angry?”

⇒ Because it is an act of atrocity.

“Why is this an atrocity?”

⇒ Because old people are weak. They should be protected, not abused.

"Why does seeing them being abused make me angry?"

⇒ Because it reminds me that defenseless people should be protected, but in reality they are not.

"Why does this make me angry?"

⇒ Because there were times when I felt helpless, but no one protected me.

Here you have discovered that your anger towards people who abuse the elderly is linked to times when you did not receive any help, even if you needed it, Brian Bonar believes.

This is why you get angry when you see old people being abused (more than any of the reasons discussed before).